CONSPIRATOOY CABINET™ Series 1 – MR. NO

Now in proper 1:18 scale (because nobody needs a 6-inch pig taking up half the detolf)

Updated Figure Specs (actually shelf-friendly):
- Height: 3.4 inches (8.6 cm) – perfect "stares up at you from the desk while you doomscroll" size
- Width (bourbon belly included): 2.1 inches (5.3 cm)
- Depth (snout + visor): 1.7 inches (4.3 cm)
- Weight with all accessories: ≈ 3.2 oz (90 g) – light enough to mail in a regular envelope when you're anonymously gifting one to your congressman
- Blister card dimensions: 6 in × 8 in × 1.8 in (fits in your average manila folder for covert distribution)

Accessories (scaled down, menace unchanged):
- Bourbon bottle in hand: 1.1 in tall (scale airline shooter)
- Spare bourbon bottle: 1.3 in tall
- Anti-Reality Visor™ with pink earmuffs: 1.5 in wide
- Traitor Folder: 1 in × 0.7 in (still heavier than most voting records)
- Mystery juice bottle (zero question marks): 1.1 in tall, matte black ceramic
- Swappable neutral ears: 0.4 in each

Now he fits perfectly next to your 3.75-inch GI Joes without looking like he ate them.
Same warning: Prolonged exposure still causes chronic obstruction of pork, acute resistance to continuing resolutions, and sudden outbreaks of reading the damn bill.

Collect all four before the next debt-ceiling hostage video drops.
Made somewhere definitely not in China.